I have a new enemy. My list of enemies isn't overly extensive (or logical). It includes: a certain corner that I keep catching my toe on. Velcro. The railing of my bed because it snagged the pocket of my favorite jeans and ripped them. The leg of my bed because I kicked it afterward, and severely injured my foot.(Embarrassed by my lack of control, I told Hubby that a closet dwarf attacked me and stomped on my foot and then escaped back into the dark void. I don't think he believed me.) Jay Leno is on my list. So is Elmo, oddly enough. I think it's mainly because he just swooped in and hijacked Sesame Street, when we all know the heart and soul of the entire organization is Kermit; the final straw was when that little red furry menace had the audacity to sneak his way into the sequel of the beloved "Monster At The End of the Book" book; back off Elmo-you're invading Grover territory!
Back to the list.
A girl I went to elementary school with is still on my list. She tried to FB friend me, but I totally denied her. HA! Point to Susie! The neighbors cat is on my enemy list. Brian Frons is definitely on my list. Miss. Piggy used to be on my list, but she's been promoted to "frenemy". I don't always like her, but I sure as heck respect her.
I suppose after all this rambling, you want to know who is the newest addition to my enemy list. You'll never guess. It's...it's...CORNSTARCH! That's right, cornstarch. Why, you ask? Well, imagine my surprise when I walked into my bedroom to see everything covered in a fine, white dust, and a box of empty cornstarch lying on my bed. Apparently, none of my children were involved in this incident, so I can only assume that the cornstarch snagged a bottle of cooking wine and went hog-wild in the bedroom. Shame on you, cornstarch. Shame.
I am also thinking of adding my desk chair to my list. I don't deny that it provides a very comfortable perch, but that little groaning sound it's been making lately, every time I sit down, is getting a little old. Consider yourself warned, chair. Ikea is coming to town soon, and you'll be easy to replace. European chairs never make fat jokes. Keep that in mind.
2 comments:
Cornstarch in the BEDROOM!!!! YIKES! that would definitely make my enemy list as well.
You are mistaken. Cornstarch is a fine upstanding ingredient. It would never covort with a bottle of wine in carnal activities without a promise of engagement in a stew. No, It was definitely the closet elf. Now you have proof. Go tell your husband.
BTW: I'd have to move. That mess would be just too overwhelming!
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